A Memoir of a Day at Arya 

8th Oct. 2013
Unlike the usual days, I didn't feel that much drowsy when I woke up to my alarm of 5.45am. May be it was the excitement flowing  gushingly in my veins, it was my first ever fieldwork after all. All ready now, I was off to metro at 7am. Reached Chawri Bazar by 7.30 & I knew that day, the early morning 20 mins. walk towards Daryaganj was going to be one of the most tranquil ones. Those fresh but rugged faces, some of them sipping tea sitting outside the shuttered shops, some of them deeply engrossed into their hindi newspapers & many others still enjoying their sleeps on their rickshaws. Observing such peaceful street, it's really hard to believe that after few hours or so, it would be but a realm of chaos. A little further & the glimpse of the beautiful minarets of Jama Masjid shining in the diffused light of the dawn soothed the eyes. A few more minutes & I was there, Arya Orphanage, my Universe of study for the whole day. The guard at the gate was a bit surprised to see a MAD volunteer turning so early in the morning. I proceeded with an observant's eye with numerous thoughts running inside my head about all the things that I needed to cover for my project I had chosen- 'Day to day life of Kids at Arya'. It was like any other day at Arya, with few small kids playing in the court in the middle, few of the older kids peeking outside from the courtyard of their dormitories at 1st & 2nd floor. Watching me roaming, few kids shouted from a distance, wishing me 'good morning sir',to which I reciprocated with a smile every time. There's certainly something inside their wishes, which hints an innocent genuineness & the way they call me 'sir',I could very well sense the responsibility of being a teacher to them, an older friend they can trust upon. It's these small moments which reminds me to why joining MAD had really been a life-changing decision.

After roaming around for a while, I headed towards the dormitory at 2nd floor for it is there, the kids I teach reside. Surprised & smiling faces all around caught my glimpse, with everyone enquiring if they had a class with MAD at that day. After greeting all the kids including my students, as they gathered around me, I tried explaining the purpose of of my visit. Although I am not sure if they really did understand about my anthropological project or not, but there was an unusual excitement I could see in their eyes when I told them that I was going to stay at Arya till evening. Somewhere they knew that today, someone new is there to talk to, someone new to spend some time with, someone out of their mundane day to day schedule.

It was a holiday at school & all kids were on their own, playing, sleeping, studying whatever they wished to do. Although, the kids from class 9th & above had a task to be fulfilled in the mornings for almost entire holidays, to clear up a ground at the back side of Arya to transform it into a playground. After few initial enquiries, about 9.30 am, I joined the group & we headed towards that ground to be cleared & it sure seemed to be a huge task, with all that clutter that had piled up there. Me & one of my students stood at a distance, with whom I continued with my enquiries about their schedule, meanwhile in front of us, the kids involved in clearing up task were a treat to see, as they were having quite fun with all the jokes they were cracking among themselves at the same time being true to the task at hand. There came a moment in between when few of them,a bit tired now, decided to take a break & started chatting with me. They curiously asked about how is the college life & I told them how cool it is. Seizing that opportunity, I questioned, how many of them wished to go to college after their school ? There was a moment of silence, they were smiling, but there was certain strangeness in their eyes, a question may be, which they wished to ask me back. Breaking the ice finally, one of them spoke 'sir mai toh correspondence se karunga, paise ka bhi dekhna hota hai na,college mei bhot paisa lagta hai', hearing that, some kind of guilt grappled me inside & for a while I wasn't able to confront them, I asked them a question which I didn't give much thought to, why didn't I realize that they belonged to underpriviledged families & many of them orphans. College was just a dream for them, a life which they are always curious to hear about from someone, but have minimal prospects to really live it unike other fortunate one's. Thanks to that one kid who drew everybody's attention towards the antics of few monkeys playing behind us, which gave me some time to recollect myself & think about something else to talk about.

After 2 hrs. of tedious cleaning task, the tired kids now headed back towards their dormitory, but not before receiving their morning treat, that is usually a packet of parle-G or some fruit. I heartily accepted & ate few of the biscuits they lovingly offered. Back at the dormitory again, my students introduced other kids present there with all the funny titles they had given to each other, one of them named 'Sachin' is a singer & without even a bit of hesitation he sang a song beautifully when insisted. When asked from where did he learn to sing so well, the answer was quite clear, it was self taught, he had a gift & I promised to inform him about any kind of singing competition if I get to know. It's always heartening to see how despite certain adversaries, humans have this ability to develop gifted skills of their own. After such a mesmerising listen, we opted for a match of Ludo, which I had forgotten quite a long time ago but won anyways thanks to the other kids who lent their help joyfully.

It was lunch time now, all ready with their plates heading downstairs to get their meal. I was hungry of course, but I was feeling quite awkward to how should I approach the warden & ask his permission to take some food just like that, the food that was actually meant for kids there. All my apprehensions washed away in a whiff when I saw one of the kids at a distance bringing a large plate of the meal, he came to me & smilingly offered the plate saying 'ye lo sir, aapke liye laya mai'. I was taken aback to see this sheer act of kindness, who was I to them that day, but almost a stranger & at every step, they simply continued to prove me wrong as for them I was a family now, like their elder brother may be. I was out of any words, so simply offered a heartfelt smiling gratitude for his kind act. I had a hearty meal along with them, also accompanied with few chuckles when they complained me that I was eating so hesitantly (so I was), they said 'eat as much as u wish sir, sharmao mat, apna hi ghar samjho'. The food tasted most delicious that day, not because of the ingredients but because of the immense love of all those kids that continued mixing inside it & I guess I over-ate, as I didn't wish to waste anything that was on my plate.

In the afternoon, usually at home as I grab my siesta hour, which was making me feel a bit tired & kids easily pointed that out & within no time did they set the bed-sheet of what they called as the most comfortable bedding present in the room & insisted me to grab a nap, after initial hesitation, I finally gave in to there persistent insistence & comfortably laid down & I guess even if for 20 mins. or so, I did fall asleep. Waking up at 5pm, I enquired about the timings of the evening 'havan'. Although as the rain lashed, the chance of 'havan' taking place that day was pretty low. So, we simply talked our hearts out, with everybody telling what they wished to become in future. If somebody wanted to do course in CA after school, then somebody wished to become a teacher, there was also a singer among us & not to forget that one creative artist, who wished to become an animator in future. Small eyes watching big dreams & deep in my heart I silently prayed,that may all of them come true.

It was getting dark now, I decided to finally leave, I had gathered enough information. Although, from inside I could feel that connection I inadvertently had established with those wonderful young ones, who were incessantly insisting me to stay for a bit longer, but I guess we are all slaves of time, I needed to go as I was required at home. Bidding adieu was the toughest thing to do to all those faces to whom my presence managed to bring a different kind of smile that day. A simple 'thank you' didn't seem enough to the amount of love I received, so with a promise to come again someday & stay their for the whole day, I bid my final goodbye, although not before a photo clicked with them to cherish that day & moreover to cherish those faces.

The picture of all of them waving goodbye to me smilingly, still embedded freshly in my memory. I left the entrance gate of Arya with some kind of utopian feeling, a soul touched by innocence & a heart filled to the brim with lots of love. Today was the day when a role-reversal took place, today they were the one who taught me how to love unconditionally, how to dream big despite of  adversaries, how to find joy even in the smallest of things in life, they somewhere made me meet 'myself' & prompted my own childhood.

I was only physically returning back to home, while my thoughts continued wandering in that dormitory of Arya, in those moments I shared with those kids, I felt I lived a life in just one day.

A Memoir of the day of Freedom at Kaट-कatha

Has there been an Independence day until the recent one, that I celebrated with such fervour that it really felt like an Independence ? If I go deep down the memory lane to find the answer to this question, then may be my answer would be 'No'.

Came 15th Aug. 2013, Kat-Katha planned to celebrate its Birthday & being a volunteer I was all excited for the arrangements that we have to do & the wonderful celebration that would follow. When I reached there finally at 10.45am, I saw plenty of volunteers sitting & making this or that for the decorations, even I joined in & took the task of blowing balloons, one of those things I have always found pleasure in,since childhood. Kat-katha never looked so beautiful before & with the positive energy it was emitting in the air that day was truly magical.

The decorations were on place, now it was time for mobilisation or in other words, calling & inviting all the bacchas(kids) & the didis(sisters) for being the part of Kat-katha celebration. Treading all the way at the street, we howled & screamed with loud clapping traversing from one brothel to another & becoming a reason to many confused faces staring at us. All the didis sitting outside were invited with a smile, to celebrate with us, our voices became the loudest of all the bustles of the street & one could easily sense, how this colourless & lifeless place was suddenly bursting with life at that moment. And Me? I felt so much a part of those loud invitations that we were making. To so many incidents in life when I found myself trying to break-free from my silent nature, It was the first time when I actually felt my voice matters when I call for freedom at top of my lungs, for the first time it actually felt that there's nobody who holds you back but you yourself, when you speak with no sense of fear inside, people would definitely listen.

All brothels covered now, after almost 45 mins. of screaming, spreading smiles, clapping & becoming centre of numerous attentions, it was time to head back to our Birthday Home.

Now the Name 'Kaट-कatha', newly painted was finally there, shining on the outside wall to let people know where exactly the 'Hope' resides in this area. We climbed the stairs still screaming out loud to spread the energy at every corner of our beloved home, just as we had spread it in the street.

Within few minutes we were joined with so many more volunteers & came after them one by one all our beloved Didis & Bacchas, not to forget those few foreign friends as well of ours, who also wanted to be a part of celebration.

In the room inside, all sat with cheerfulness & laughter all around. What started with a simple question making rounds 'what would you do if you get freedom?' getting all the funny & some inspiring responses, then turned into a musical session, with all together singing those old golden hindi songs making the atmosphere even more soothing & also followed was few of the people tapping their feet on energetic Rajasthani numbers.

After 45 mins. or so of all the cheerful singing & dancing session, finally came the favourite moment of the day, especially for the kids, the moment to cut the huge beautiful cake. Everybody kids, didi's & volunteers gathered around it, waiting for the cake to be cut & sing out loud that old jolly birthday song the Beatles once sang & ever since which became an anthem of every birthday party. The senior-most member present was a didi to whom we requested to cut the cake & the moment she did, everyone burst into joy with all the loudest voices of kids, the birthday anthem just got merrier. Cake served, home-made Teas & sandwiches also followed, everybody cheering, having a hearty time.

Now it was time to rejoice over the dance performance that our ever talented bacchas prepared. It was all but so much fun & wonderful to see them enjoying themselves dancing, even if not in sync at times, but then who cared, their innocent smiling faces were enough a reason to make us all feel truly blissful & in a while the floor became a 'discotheque' with everybody enjoying tapping their feet along with kids. The funny thing is that the speakers were quite small with the sound coming not so loud & yet everyone danced as if sound wasn't actually a bar to express the joy that was running amok inside our veins at that moment, all we needed was a song of freedom in our own hearts & that I think was loud enough. Giving ourselves a break now, all now sat to enjoy the ever delicious 2 minutes noodles, yes it was Maggi time, which few of the volunteers had dedicatedly & lovingly cooked for all. And to be honest it actually was the best Maggi I ever had, for which I would give the credits to that very special ingredient called 'Love', mixed in it perfectly.

Now it was about 6pm & somewhere I was wishing that the moment simply pauses there, the wonderful chit-chats never ceases, the celebrations continue till eternity. The bacchas & didis started departing now one by one & slowly silence started descending our home. But still who were left behind were few bacchas & volunteers. Gitanjali suggested to end the beautiful day of celebration by praying & meditating in silence. All sat in the inner room, with lights all off & beautiful meditative scherzo playing on speakers. Our eyes closed now permitting the soothing music to touch the soul through ears. At that very moment, it took a while for me to be transported in some kind of 'trance', with all the flashbacks of the beautiful day crossing my mind as some kaleidoscopic images.

I think I was smiling at that moment, a smile with no purpose at all, which you may be not aware of, but it's there on your face & when you suddenly feel its presence, then you know it from inside that you are finally at Peace, you have set your mind free of all boundaries, all rules & everything that has ever held you back.

"The moment you feel YOU ARE INFINITE"......

Searching for the 'Reasons' & finding 'Myself' (part-II)

Came June 2013, I was done with my 2nd semester, now a long break till 3rd semester begins. Although I had no idea to how exactly was I going to spend my holidays, but 1 thing I was sure of was that I had to make them productive. Searched for few internship options but none I found suitable. Few days later an old college friend pinged on facebook inquiring if I was interested in joining an ngo called kat-katha, where he often used to go. I got hooked to the very idea, all that required was nothing much but going there, spending some time with the kids, just to teach them something or simply to have fun with them on weekends. Along with this curious sensation, there was also an element of fear somewhere hidden inside to be honest, as it turns out, Kat-katha operated in the middle of Delhi's red-light area. Now there was a choice to be made, either taking risk & exploring the area which is socially disapproved or going there & try becoming a reason for eliciting smiles on some innocent faces. But ultimately all my fears succumbed may be to that untamed curiosity & also to the power of such a beautiful cause.
The place sure was a brothel, but that one small organization Kat-katha was like a light of hope shimmering brightly & illuminating the darkness that surrounded. All those colorful innocent smiles were more than enough to make me fall in love with that place, those smiles, even more beautiful than the colorful paintings on the walls of Kat-katha . Also the volunteers who were already working there certainly held an inspiration in their own for undertaking such a noble initiative,they are few of the most wonderful people I have met in life. Kat-katha is all about generating a Hope for the unfortunate sex-workers & their kids, a Hope that there's a better life waiting for them beyond this brothel they are forcibly residing in.
In the course of time I received an e-mail from an organization make a difference (MAD), for which I applied a few months back, I was called for the interview as they were recruiting now. For a long time I wished to join it, but didn't get a chance to apply for it previously, but now when I did & received their mail, it was yet another excitement added, the vacations were just getting more & more interesting now. It was 7th July, a Saturday, I was called to an orphanage home-'Arya Anathalaya' at Daryaganj, there I was joined with quite many wonderful people who also came to get recruited as one of the volunteers at MAD. It was truly an amazing experience. Among many options, I chose for myself to be an English teacher to the orphanage as that seemed suitable for both my little experience of teaching in past & also for its timings & so started the process. After the testing time when finally came the interview session, it was then that I suddenly got struck with this realization that how everything falls into place on the very right moment. Its quite surprising how these kind of sudden realizations catches your mind completely off guard but yet you thank the heavens above that they do. If there was anything which actually made me more confident in the interview,then I would owe it to those very moments of past when I pushed myself to take those few steps, even if hesitantly at times (as for that time I was but a scared soul) & now it seems that those were actually the moments when I challenged my own fears just to revere them forever, those few steps which I never really knew would land me to some place like this. It all added up- being a part of social service society at college, rookie but yet having at least some experience at teaching few underprivileged kids at that time, then recently being a part of Kat-katha & lastly being the vice president of my small department. Although somebody would say it was a simple interview for a weekend teacher at orphanage, requiring not much of an experience, but for me it was definitely more than that, it was one of those personal feelings which nobody else but only you could understand, a feeling I would cherish forever. I got selected not because I was experienced but because I think they found in me an element which I would call is a 'gift from my past'. It's after a long time that I really appreciated my own decisions which lead me to somewhere I wished to be. On my way back to home, there was an unconditional smile on my face all the way through, my mind still fascinated with the idea of how 'all the dots have connected' & the journey further,I believe is going to be yet another adventure to explore myself, yet another answer to a question & yet another reason to something beautiful I am about to witness in future...

"Life is all about connecting the dots, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever and it will make all the difference in life."

-Steve Jobs

Searching for the 'Reasons' & finding 'Myself' (part-I)

It's the age when people usually get job-oriented especially boys, the peer pressure as well as the excitement of being free & independent & most importantly the thought of putting off the burden from the shoulders of the parents, proves to be the ultimate driving force. Being of the same age, though I thank God as there's no peer pressure as such which hovers over me, my parents wish me to complete my post-graduation nicely & then think about getting a job later on, but yet at this age one is bound to feel a silent ache inside watching their friends earning & having fun & being honest, I am not any different for not feeling that ache myself sometimes. it's not that I find doing post-graduation in my subject any uninteresting, but may be it's simply my history of academia which more or less had been an average affair to say the least.
 But as they say, there are 2 sides of a coin, so let me tell you, if at this age I sometimes feel down thinking that I am not really doing what I should suppose to do, it's actually at the same time that I realize the truth, that  I am not really ready yet even at this age, I feel there is more to just seeking a descent job & spending rest of the life at your own terms, there's definitely more to it, a phase of struggle I guess, a struggle that I need to allay inside me at the first place, a struggle of seeking answers to a plethora of questions that I have inside & it's this itching of seeking All the answers to those questions that draws me closer & closer to an 'epiphany', a sudden realization that gradually but surely will change my life forever or so i hope with all my heart. What my experiences have taught me till yet, I have derived to a conclusion & that conclusion answers everytime to the ever whirring questions in my head- "Whatever happens,happens for a reason". It's like there exists a story which God has written already, where He consciously added few loopholes to make us falter at certain moments, to test our faith in ourselves, to see how we stand up after falling & start walking again & keep walking until our story reaches its fateful conclusion, the conclusion whose beauty or tragedy would be nothing but the reflection of our own decisions in life.

And if I tell you the truth, I am proud of all those moments when I chose to keep walking, even when there were times I had my doubts on the script to my story He has written, as it's only because of my endurance till this point that I finally came to know that there's a reason behind everything & as I play along my role I have to keep seeking for all those reasons to understand their meaning more deeply & in a way understanding my own Life & the purpose of my existence....
(to be continued..)

 

“They say, Find a purpose in your life and live it. But, sometimes, it is only after you have lived that you recognize your life had a purpose, and likely one you never had in mind.”  

― Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed